I Know She is Hot .... But Can She Cook? Chapter 1

A Treatise on Relationships by a Regular Guy.

Chapter 1 - "I mean Really, Can She Cook?"

The ability of your mate at mealtime is at least 10.638 times more important than their abilities in bed. Let me repeat, the ability of your mate at meal time is at least 10.638 times more important than their abilities in bed. I am sure Freud and Dr. Ruth will disagree with this. After all, everything they speak and write about seems to refer to sex. Don't get me wrong, sex is great. Sex is really, really great. I love sex. Did I mention that sex was great? But, I do not believe it is the most important part of a real relationship.
Pertaining to the frequency of sex, it has been said that "You will have sex more in your first year of marriage than you will for the rest of your years of marriage combined." I do not know who officially said that - but I heard that quote from my Pastor's wife. It must be true. I am not sure I believe it, but it has been quoted often. I do know that 317,000 people worldwide participated the the 2005 Durex Sex Survey. Durex manufactures condoms, for those of you who did not know who the were. The survey published the following about the frequency of sex.

Globally, people are having sex an average of 103 times a year, with men (104) having sex more often than women (101)

35-44 year olds are having the most sex - 112 times compared to just 90 times for 16-20 year olds and 108 times for 25-34 year olds

One in five adults have sex 3-4 times a week and 5% have sex once a day

The Greeks top the league at 138 times a year, closely followed by the Croatians (134), Serbian Montenegrins (128) and the Bulgarians (127)

Lovers in Japan are the least amorous, having sex just 45 times a year. Nations among the least sexually active include Singapore (73), India (75) and Indonesia (77)

I am glad I do not live in Japan.

I write about sexual frequency, not for you to compare yourselves to the scientific norm. That is not what this book is about. I am sure each of you is exceeding 103 times per year. (Yeah right!). A family member recently said something to this effect about that statistic "Two times per week? I can't remember three times per month and I get tired just thinking about it." But, I am writing about sexual frequency to make a mathematical comparison. Lets look at the math.

On average, the healthy human worldwide has 103 sexual events per year. 103 sexual events per year times 7 days per week divided by 365.25 days per year (leap year included) equals 1.974 sexual event per week.

Therefore, we, on average, as a human race are having sex 1.974 times per week.

The number in Japan is not quite as high. Again, I am glad I don't live in Japan.

Why is 1.974 times per week important? Not because you or I have sex more or less that the average. I think it is important in the overall influence on the relationship because of how small that number is when compared to other things that we do more often in our day to day management of our relationship. Let's look at meals.

WebMD, in writing about "the Benefits of Nutrition in Weight Loss" states:

"Never go more than 4-5 hours without food. Skipping meals encourages binging and crushes your willpower. By making sure your eat 3 meals per day you can control your hunger and manage your appetite."

We all know we should eat three meals per day. Even people in jail get "Three Hots and a Cot." So lets do some more math. This one is real easy

There are seven days in a week. Seven days times three meals equals 21 meals per week.

They even eat 21 meals per week in Japan. I like Sushi.

I like to eat. I like to eat many different items with many different tastes. I especially like to eat food that has been expertly prepared. Food that tastes great. Food that tantalizes my taste buds. Food that makes me want to makes purring noises when I eat. Food that looks as good as it tastes. Food, that when you bite into it, seems to make all of the issues of the day disappear. I also like to eat 21 times per week. I like to eat so much that my favorite channel is Food Network. If my son doesn't marry Briana (They are not even dating, but I think she would be a great daughter-in-law and wife for my son) I hope my son marries Racheal Ray. That way I could go to Christmas at their house and she could cook us a 30-Minute Meal for $40.00.

Let's get back to the subject. I am pretty sure about the following math.

21 Meals per week divided by 1.974 sexual events per week equals 10.638 meals per sexual event.

In Japan it would equal 21.362 meals per sexual event. That would be OK as long as you really like alot of Sushi.

In our culture, we seem to place so much emphasis on Sex. Sex is all over our airwaves. All over our billboards. There is so much emphasis on it in every aspect of our lives. Don't misread me, sex is important to a good healthy relationship. But not as important as our society seems to imply. I believe it is not as important as many other things in our lives are. In particular, cooking. As I have mathematically proven in this chapter, a mates skills in the kitchen are at least 10.638 times more important to a relationship as the mates abilities in bed. Give me a great sexual experience and we have the makings of a great night. Give me a great meal, and we have the makings of a great life.